


Sassnf*ckoff

by HeIsSoBlue



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Cheeky Connor, Deviant Connor, Funny, Hank gets sassed, Hank swears, Humor, I just want my boys to be happy ok, I think I'm funny, Language, My beautiful boys, Sass, Sassy Connor, What else is new, fructose father, i hope its funny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 17:23:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14958860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeIsSoBlue/pseuds/HeIsSoBlue
Summary: Hank gets the bill for their trip to Eden Club.Connor gets a new conversational response: sass.He uses it repeatedly.A stapler gets thrown.





	Sassnf*ckoff

* * *

 

"Jesus fucking Christ."

The angry words drew Connor's attention, looking up from his desk over to where the clearly distraught Hank sat behind his hologram monitors.

x-Ignore

x-Access Hank's computer

x-Inquire-O

"What is it Lieutenant?" Connor could access Hank's computer to see what the cause of his distress was but had been informed that it was a 'violation of privacy' and to 'not fucking do that without permission, idiot'.

"I just got the bill for our little escapade down at Eden club..."

x-Inquire

x-Stay silent-O

The memories of their experience at Eden club came back to Connor, it had been a particularly stressful evening for the both of them. It had been the beginning of Connor deviating, he had let the women go against his strict instructions.

"I gotta take this up with the boss, they are trying to get me to pay it, saying it wasn't part of the investigation." Hank continued, running a hand down his face in exasperation. "Like I'd buy fourteen androids in four minutes, who the hell would do that?"

x-Ironic-O

x-Truthful

x-Stay silent

"Perhaps a Lieutenant trying to find answers to an investigation at an android sex club?" Connor smirked.

"Hah, yeah kid, _perhaps_."

Connor nodded to himself, pleased he had gotten a small smirk out of the Lieutenant.

"What I don't get is why the women cost 30 bucks and the men cost 45. That's a little sexist ain't it?" Hank asked, squinting at his screen in disbelief.

x-Factual-O

x- Stay Silent

A quick search in his mind and Connor had the answer.

"The cleaning process for male androids is more intensive, it requires the draining and replacement of all synthetic semen which-"

  
"Okay! That's enough. Jesus kid, haven't you heard of a rhetorical question?" Hank says, face scrunched up in that all too familiar way of disgust that appears whenever Connor puts something from a crime scene into his mouth.

Connor pauses.

"Was that a rhetorical question?"

"Oh look, it's learning." Hank smiles sarcastically.

Connor just goes back to reading his own screen, LED blinking yellow and processing their conversation.

"These guys make a pretty penny though."

Connor's eyebrows knit together, how an extinct currency could be considered attractive was beyond him. He stored the statement away to look up later.

"If being a detective doesn't work out you could always do this Connor, you'd probably make quite a bit of money."

Connor glanced back up at Hank, eyebrow raised until he saw the look on his face. Hank was teasing him, like he often did.

x-Realistic

x-Deny

x-Say nothing

x-Sass

The sass option was new, and Connor was always up to exploring more of his deviancy.

x-Sass-O

"Why would I do that Lieutenant? I do not require currency if I have you around to buy sex bots for me."

Hank's eyes widened in surprise, mouth dropping but the slight upturn at the corner of his mouth kept Connor going.

"I believe the proper human term is 'sugar daddy'?"

At that Hank actually sputtered.

"Now-Now wait a minute there you plastic-"

"If that term is offensive I have determined other synonymous names such as 'glucose guardian', or 'fructose father'. Which would you prefer?" Connor tilted his head feigning innocence.

He heard some nearby detectives outright laugh as they overheard, it filled him with a sense of accomplishment and he couldn't help the smirk that formed on his lips.

"Ever since you became deviant you became more of a pain in my ass than usual, you know that right?" Hank growled, voice still light to imply Connor hadn't upset him.

x-Apologize

x-Realistic

x-Sass-O

"If you are having pain in your 'ass' I suggest a trip to the doctor, there are 3 clinics within walking range, would you prefer me to get you a cab or a wheelchair for your advanced age?"

A passerby almost spit out their coffee as they overheard.

"Oh ha ha. I'm getting real tired of this shit."

x-Apologize

x-Stay silent

x-Sass-O

"If there is fecal matter involved I could purchase some adult diapers for you, there are 2 drug stores within-"

"Okay! I get it, just shut up kid. I'm not above putting a bullet in your leg, you know. When did you become such a back talker?"

x-Truth

x-Lie

x-Sass-O

"Perhaps it is a learned trait, from my fructose father."

Hank threw his stapler at him, trying to hide an amused smile.

Connor laughed.

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my lovely boys, I'm so far and deep into this fandom it's not even funny.  
> Drop a kudos or a comment, they give me LIFE.  
> I've been debating a more dramatic multichapter fic, so let me know how I did.  
> <3


End file.
